Days of green

There are days when I miss being here, blogging. It's easy to think this way, but it already seems like a simpler time. Instead, now, meted out meanderings and truths left unspoken. A sudden feeling of time lost to clouded judgement.


But bookending these days of strange second-guessing have been easy walks to and from work. Verdant trails up and down the hill. As a rule, I never walk back the same way I came. And so I go down by the leafy streets of Rosedale, a neighbourhood I share in the spoils of but am too poor to be part of. And I come back by way of ravine trails, which sink deep below street level and all the complicated unbelonging.


I walk slowly, listening to the creek, picking out what has changed since yesterday and the day before. This weekend delivered doilies of Queen Anne's Lace on the ravine floor. In the smallness of these changes, I feel calm. I lean into certain turns on the path. I pick out the bark of one tree and decide it's my favourite. I look for a patch of light and a reflection that's only there on certain days, but feels like a secret when it returns. And I forget about the mistakes that led me here and let the verdancy fill me up.

11 comments:

  1. I'd like to think that what is the call and response between reader (me) and blogger (you) is not unlike that of the walker and the ravine trails -- a simple ask-and-you-shall-receive; a "you are missed" eliciting an offering; a delicious wish to catch that patch of light and reflection...and a gentle acquiescing in its appearance. If only our other calls inspired such easy responses. So glad to hear from you again. And to know that you're allowing yourself the meandering, meted though it may be. xx

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  2. Ah!

    These are beautiful images. Somehow they remind me of the scenes in A Room with a View where Lucy takes Cecil after their engagement party. The light, the stillness, the removed-ness from everything else.

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  3. Rosedale, you say? I could use a green walk...

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  4. What beautiful images. How lucky you are to have such a lovely walk to work. All I ever had was the subway-

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  5. This is lovely. I can feel the feelings you're feeling (because I've been there and am there). Second guessing is like being lost in a forest not being able to find your way out. But, appreciating the beauty and nuances around you is all you can do right now. Keep on.

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  6. Hello Jane
    Nice to see you blogging again. Toronto looks beautiful and your images do it justice.
    Enjoy your walks and summer time.

    Helen

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  7. I've loved joining you, in this very small way, on your beautiful walks.

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  8. Jane, I am so happy to see these photos of your peaceful and lovely walks. Your photos with the reflections in the water are all so very beautiful. Such places of calm and reflection and peace, I find, are so special…and necessary. For me, my walks each day amongst the trees near where I live, are necessary for my very being, and are my favorite point of each day. Thanks for sharing such lovely images of the beauty that you see…

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  9. i miss your thoughtful blog posts - come back!

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  10. Where did you go? miss you

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  11. nothing beats a walk through the woods for some deep reflection and inspiration ... if we hadn't made mistakes we wouldn't be able to appreciate where we ended up, no?

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